To you.

I don’t know what to say to you.  In a way, you frustrate me so much.  I hate how you were so sweet, nice and thoughtful about the things you say but one day you just became distant.  I know that I may have played a part in that but please just tell me.  I get so frustrated when I hear from you then it takes you forever to reply and then there’s no reply at all.  What do you want?  I just want to know.  Everything that happened with you was quite an unexpected.  I didn’t expect to fall that hard especially when I am the type of person who doesn’t fall for guys.  Being around you felt so nice.  I don’t regret how I felt about you because what I felt was true.  It felt like I was able to have something that I always wanted but just like that it got taken away.  We just stopped talking.  It’s like we’re strangers again.  That shit hurt.  I can’t even stand to look at your name because it brings out this ugly side of me that I’ve never seen.  I’ve never felt that way about someone in a long time.  You are going to be that guy who melted this ice cold heart of mine but not only did you melt, you also left a pretty big dent in it.  You didn’t break it but you might have as well.  I just want to know if the things you said and felt were genuine.  I want to know if I had you even for a moment.  If I even had a chance at all.  I don’t want to hold on to you and hoping for another chance. I want closure.  I want to let you go.  If writing this is the first step to letting you go then so be it.  I hope that one day, we can just talk and clear things out but if this is it, then this is it.